The Last Goodbye
by colourfuldaze
Summary: There are three kinds of secrets. One, you keep in your heart. Two, is a secret that can never be let out. And three, one that you hope someone asks you, even though you're hiding it.


**AN:** Holla :) Kayce here! After a very depressing Glee episode (oh, Jesse whyyy!) as well as problems with my best guy friend, I just needed to write out my emotions. Plus, it's raining, so this will be a heartbreaker. Warned.

**STORY INFO:** glee | the last goodbye | Jesse St. James/Rachel Berry, unrequited | angst/romance

**Summary:** There are three kinds of secrets. One, you keep in your heart. Two, is a secret that can never be let out. And three, one that you hope someone asks you, even though you're hiding it.

**Disclaimer:** I own nothing, but the idea. Lyrics belong to Celine Dion. Parts of Jesse's speech are from the song as well.

_Wish I could be the one  
The one who could give you love  
The kind of love you really need  
Wish I could say to you  
That I'll always stay with you_

In life, there are three types of secrets.

One, something that you hide at the bottom of your heart because you don't want it to be mentioned.

For example, the fact that Jesse St. James preferred the simplicity of New Directions to the exclusive Vocal Adrenaline. This was something that he has told absolutely no one, and has kept in his thoughts every time he put on his showface for Vocal Adrenaline.

The second type of secret, something that you can't say, even if you want to.

Case in point: Rachel Berry's heart had always stayed with Finn Hudson. This was the reality that both Rachel and Jesse had accepted prior to their relationship. But slowly, and carefully, Rachel began to give Jesse little pieces of her heart. Pieces that he kept breaking, tearing apart until there was only tiny scraps left.

The last type of secret, but perhaps the most important one, was three: something that you hope someone asks about, even if you're hiding it.

For instance, the real reason of Jesse's return to Vocal Adrenaline, as well as his new found hatred for one Rachel Berry.

* * *

"_I loved you."_

Three words. Just one letter off. The reality of the matter was, Jesse could never hate Rachel. He love**s **her too much. He didn't know why he said it, why he egged her or why he suddenly acted as though she was his sworn enemy.

And as he saw the look in her eyes, the sadness, the emptiness.. he wanted nothing more than to wrap her into his arms right then and take all the pain away. He doesn't know when the people surrounding him became so insignificant, it might have been when she walked through the door.

"_I don't know what I want, I don't know what I need… but this is not it"_ she spoke, each syllable taking everything inside of her to say.

Rachel walks away. She doesn't turn around, she doesn't look back at him. Before he can even control it, his legs are running and his voice is yelling and it's like this was the moment he's been waiting for all his life.

_Rachel. Rachel. Wait._

_You need someone willing to give their heart and soul to you  
Promise you forever, baby that's something I can't do  
Oh I could say that I'll be all you need  
But that would be a lie  
I know I'd only hurt you  
I know I'd only make you cry  
I'm not the one you're needing_

* * *

Before he knows it he's dragged her into the practice room that they've been in one too many times, his mind side tracks for a moment, until he hears her start to yell.

_"Look, Mr. Jesse St. James! You can't walk all over me and think a simple apology will fix it. Nothing can take back the words you said, yes I heard them all. You keep acting like everything is alright, but it won't be the same again."_

He stares at her silently, wondering if this will be the last time they speak. Yeah, they were both destined for stardom, but they'll be different by then. It would be as though they never met.

She stares it him cautiously, and says what's truly on her mind: "W…Why'd you leave?"

It was such a simple question, but it was one that he could not answer. Secret number two.

_"You know, Rach.. you deserve somebody amazing. Somebody who could take every odd trait about you and still adore you. I hope someday you can  
find some way to understand I'm only doing this for you. Somewhere in this heart of rock, I know you deserve better than me. You'll find someone who'll be the one that I could never be, who'll give you something better than the love you'll find with me. Well, I could say that I'll be all you need, but that would be the biggest lie. I know I'd only hurt you, I'd only make you cry. Trust me with this, Rachel Berry. You deserve, so much better, than a stupid boy who can't even man up and has to throw an egg at the most important person in his life."_

Secret number three. All out in the open. He didn't realize it at first, and it didn't answer her question at all. But he hoped that it would be enough to keep her at peace.

He smiles at her, the type of smile that had the ability to break somebody's heart.

_"__I know that it's going to hurt you when I walk out that door, but trust me, it's going to hurt me so much more."_

Just like that, with a kiss on her forehead, Jesse St. James walked out of her life. Out of her life, and into the future that she knew he would shine in.

_Leaving someone when you love someone  
Is the hardest thing to do  
When you love someone as much as I love you_

* * *

If somebody were to walk into the Lima City ballet studio and moved the box of extra flats in the corner of the room, they would see a boyish scrawl of writing on the wall. In permanent marker, written in a secretive, tiny writing, was a simple sentence.

**"I will always love you. Don't forget it."**

If somebody were to look lower onto the wall, a unique, signature-like handwriting was written as well.

**"I won't. Love you too. Goodbye."**

_I'm not the one you're needing  
I love you, goodbye_

Thanks for reading! Reviews are love ;)


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